What is wrong with me?

Please answer my question, ok, so I get these bad headaches, I get nauseous really easily and the Nassau starts when I move my head a certain way, I have a horrible memory, I get this ringing in my ear, and sometimes lose hearing in one ear, I get lower back pain occasionally, and I can't balance very well. Please don't say go see a doctor, Oh and can sperm live in lube that has no spermicide, because two months ago I masterbated with my friends lube that she uses to have sex with her bf and I don't know how sperm would get in lube but just wonderin, and unless sperm can live in lube don't say your pregnant, because I'm a virgin, please help!